We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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