Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
