My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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