my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
