My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
