Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
