Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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