Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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