I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
where does the pee come out of this thing
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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