You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You should frame my arrest warrant.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
