you traded sex for a burrito?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
