you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
