Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize