OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize