we're chasing vodka with high fives
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
