I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
