: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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