Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
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You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
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It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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