I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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