One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
