Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
