I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i've created a new STD.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
