I got chris browned last night
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
