is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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