I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
