dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
