i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
