Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
