it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
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My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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