Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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