Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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