Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
