Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You're earring is so big in my mouth
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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