Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
