Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
