I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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