He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
