How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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