Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
