somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
