honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
