ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
