Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
