She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
