im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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