I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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