i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
where am i from again
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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