I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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