What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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