am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize