shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
