so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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