Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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