So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
