he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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