ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
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he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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