He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
