and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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