im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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